I had been looking forward to a break away in a foreign country for a long time.
I had been to Rome previously, and loved it, so always wanted to return, so it was an easy decision to make.
I mostly had a really good time. But I did have an anxiety attack, and possibly the worst one I have ever had, as there is a period of up to two hours that I simply do not remember. I don't remember getting up, if I hate, and how I make my way to the bus station to catch a bus to Naples for my day trip to Vesuvius and Pompeii. I remember feeling sick and on edge, and confused. I decided that it was unsafe for me to continue with my original plans that day, which left me feeling gutted as I had been really looking forward to it. I cried.
Instead I decided to head towards the sea, Ostia, by metro train. It didn't take long to get to, yet felt like a million miles away from the bustle of the city. I found it calming, and was what I needed.
I managed to continue with my holiday, but felt on edge for the remainder of it, concerned that I would have another episode.
I kept my closest friend, and also the girl I have been seeing updated, and both of them did their best to help me remain calm, and focus on the good.
I wish to return to Italy, maybe see a couple of cities in one go. I think it would be better than I travel when I am more mentally stable, maybe this trip on my own came a bit too soon for me, or if I had someone to go with, someone who would be able to ground me when I found myself in trouble.
