Weight Loss

Over the past few months, I have steadily been losing weight. Some of this was been contributed to by the depression I suffered over the summer. 
Although I want to lose weight, I haven't really put an awful lot of effort into actually doing anything about it.

I am not comfortable with publishing my weight, so I have blocked those bits out of the above graph, but this is my progress over the past few weeks. That is very nearly a stone.

The differences in my life between now and a couple of months ago is that I am now cycling, and I will be doing so more often now that I have a new bike through my employers cycle2work scheme, and that I have, without much thought, cut a lot of sugar out of my diet.

My sweet-tooth as disappeared over the last few years, but I have had a weakness for fizzy drinks. For the last month or so, I have barely touched them, only drinking them when out with friends, which has only been a handful of times.

I reckon if I put some decent effort in, I could do even better than I have been.

2016 'Predictions'

I did one of those Facebook things, where you follow a link and it 'predicts' your future for fun;

Party in January? That seems unlikely in the month after Christmas.

I actually wouldn't be opposed to time to myself in February, I'm okay with my own company, and its a short month anyway.

Seeing as I have recently gotten myself a permanent position at a company I am very happy to work for, a new job isn't on the cards for me, I'm not even interested in browsing.

I'd welcome a jackpot in April. I suppose 'jackpot' could be a little vague. Hopefully it will be a financial jackpot, which would explain why my May prediction says Caribbean.

Hopefully my June surprise is a nice one. 

Considering my position, I don't see a promotion of any kind happening in July. A pay-rise would be nice.

August and September seem to conflict with each other; new love followed by a timeout? Not actual love then.

An October adventure would be kind of cool, maybe a little trip to a foreign location could be on the cards?

Not sure I like the idea of change in November, I do have a year to think about it though.

And a new car in December? Definitely up for that.

Tinder Messages

I have over 60 matches, but not really talking to anyone. There is some chit chat here and there which more often than not, dies down after a couple of days. Some of it is pointless.

To start with, I have no idea how I matched with a guy. I was really confused when a guy said hello to me. He also doesn't have very good English, so I'm not sure that he understands me.

Then we have this:

Ugh. Couples looking for someone to join in.

And the friggen straight girls.

Cute Bird

Found a cute bird on tinder;

Speed-Dating Update

So a couple of hours after posting yesterday, I received a text message from the cafe where we had gone speed-dating;

Excellent idea. I responded that my friend and I had actually been discussing the idea ourselves, and that I definitely would be interested.

I told Rachel that she will have to come along when they do hold one; think she'll be the one getting drunk next time.

Speed Dating

The idea of speed-dating comes up every now and then. After being single for a while everyone starts thinking of ways to get 'back in the game' and someone will always mention speed-dating with a giggle and we'll all laugh it off.

Last week I was walking through the Old Town when I saw a board outside a cafe that advertised speed-dating the following Friday.

A friend and I discussed it, had a laugh, then just left it at that. At some point during the week, what started as a laugh, became a plan; we added a colleague, rang the cafe and booked ourselves in for the event.

None of us had been before, so had no clue what to expect from the evening.

I also couldn't decide how I was going to go about the evening; I was about to have a serious of short dates with guys. Do I tell them I'm gay?

I decided that I would just go with it, everyone is up for a chat, if it comes up, it comes up, I didn't want to accidentally lead anyone on, but I didn't want to distance myself either.

I'm a naturally shy person, so I needed to go into this with some liquid courage. Not having a lot on money to waste, I did a work-time, lunch-time dash to buy some cheap booze from town, which was a great idea.

A less great idea was drinking most of it, plus the frozen cocktail already in my freezer, in such a short space of time. By the time I arrived at the venue, I was actually reasonably drunk.

Luckily for me, I am not an obvious, slurry, messy drunk, so it wasn't overly noticeable. It did give me that little boost that makes me extra chatty, which helped me through the evening.

The evening started with us getting our name-labels and sheet of paper for us to write the guys names down and what we thought of them. While waiting for everyone to turn up, we drank in the garden and mingled with each other a little bit.

The it was time to go inside and get the evening started.

I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. A few of the guys were super nice, and people I'd actually like to go drinking with. Not that that was the point of the evening.

In the end I think I only told a couple of the guys that I was gay, and here as support to a friend, and also to try something new. None of them had a bad response to it, but one of them made a couple of comments that I didn't think were particularly nice to make to someone you have just met. He said something about me fancying all the girls there, and then another thing about people 'thinking/knowing' they're gay if they have never slept with a member of the opposite sex.

Eye-roll. Face-palm. Head-desk.

Obvious answers to those comments, but he was my last date of the evening and I brushed it off, eager to get to my friends, and he clearly wasn't interested in me anyway, and wanted to go find his mate.

So the final bell went, we filled in the rest of our sheets and got ourselves another drink and went back to the patio.

I actually wish I had taken a photo of my piece of paper; I had filled it all in nicely, but indicated that I didn't wish to date anyone (obviously) so at the bottom I wrote that I was gay, but had a lovely evening anyway, and drew a little smiley face.

By this point, everyone seemed to be getting on well and enjoying themselves, so plans were made to go to a bar a short walk away. This is where the evening started sliding downhill a little bit. The bar was very loud, so it was hard to have conversations with anyone, and as more alcohol was added, a couple of people might have started grating on each other.

One of the girls I went with had left a little earlier, so me and my other friend decided to go and get a curry as neither of us had eaten all day, something I needed, still being somewhat drunk.

The cafe that hosted the evening shut fairly early, which is why we went to another bar, I think for future events they should maybe stay open a little later, because I think everyone was happier and more comfortable having a drink on their patio instead of yelling over loud music.

It is something I would do again. We were talking with one of the girls who ran the event and their plans going forward, they are going to alternate months with different age ranges, which is a great idea. I should have suggested they run a LGBT themed speed-dating event, I'm not sure how popular and successful it would be around here, but I would go to one.

I think I might email them and see what they think.

One other thought I had, the vain, ego-boosting part of me wants to know if anyone put me down as a match, sadly, I'm not going to be able to find out.

WTF

Not only do I have a giggle at tinder bios, but some of the photos too, some of them are amusing.

Some of them are pretty random.

Who knew that moles had an internet dating need?
Some of them make you actually go WTF.

And some of them are actually, pretty frightening.

tinder Bio's

I might have said I have become a little bored with tinder, but that might have been a little lie. I might have finally had a little luck and went on a date. Doubt it will go any further than a couple of no strings dates, but it gave me a bit of a boost.

So not totally giving up on tinder yet.

Witty, but sadly, obviously straight.

I think everyone can relate to this girl. This is the kind of person you keep in your phone for a booty call. 

I was with you on the egos and liquor, just can't get with the penis though.

This is only funny to my friends and I, I just can't explain it.

Another dude comes along right on time and reminds me how glad I am that I am a lesbian.

Be my friend?

*Changing my bio to say this instead*

Lesbian? Yes. Theatre? Yes. Netflix? Yes. Onsies? Yes. In fact, marry me?

I imagine that this guy things he is being smooth. He just comes across as being a bit creepy and kind of a sleaze. Also, if you feel the need to mention you are 'fantastic' at something, then I am pretty sure you have no idea what you are doing.

Emoji translation: likes food, football, music, drink, going on holiday and is queer. All good things to me.

I can relate to this one. I have selected that I am interested in only woman, yet I keep getting guys pop up far to often. 

It doesn't matter how many you shove in my face, tinder, I'm still gay as hell.

You've not met my mother, you have your work cut out for you.

You're tall enough, don't make yourself taller!

I appreciate the honesty here, I bet a lot of people do this.

*Also adding this to my bio*

I hate when people don't use the correct spellings of words. I feel I need to hand out a spelling/grammar/general knowledge quiz when I want to date someone.

Out of tinder

I'm kind of board of tinder now, I still go on to have a look, but the novelty is wearing off

50 matches, pretty much talking to nobody though. There is one girl I have been talking to for ages who I actually would like to meet, but it doesn't seem like its going to happen for whatever reason.

I also ran out of matches.

Didn't know that this was something that could happen. I ran out of tinder.

More tinder Bios

I've had some more fun looking through tinder bios.

Me too.

Beards are for men only. And for closeted celebrities.

I kind of want to put this in my bio. Thumbs up.

I like this person. Intelligence is very sexy. As is a cheeky grin.

A girl after my own heart, someone who enjoys meal times.

Huh. I thought tinder was a hook up site, apparently someone is trying to make it into some sort of job search site. Good luck with that.

I kind of assumed that people who met on tinder and got into a relationship already had an agreement with each other on coming up with some cute story about how they met.

Trying to think of a better line that that one.

Emoji game is strong with this one.

I want to learn more about exploding dogs. I also want to learn Alphabet Aerobics. I am picturing some sort of 'knock-off' version of Yoga.

That is a glowing recommendation, I mean, who knows a person better than their bed? I have actually been talking to this girl and she is very nice so I am hoping to find out if this is in fact true.

Love the clever word combo, but cannot get with the thought of a messy bedroom.

Another fussy, couple out shopping. Really, tinder is like some sort of swinging club.

Someone else talking about giraffes. And this is actually a decent question, we should get together and discuss the answer.

Swiping right all day long for this girl. 

Same with this girl. Girls, coke and football. We could all have a great time together.

'Not a homophobe' Homophobe

Sometimes I'm not sure what is worse; a proud homophobe, or a homophobe who doesn't realise that they are homophobic.

You know, people who start sentences 'I'm not blank, but....'

Someone I follow on twitter brought attention to someone who has some strange thoughts about homosexuality, and yet doesn't think he is homophobic at all.

Callum Wright is a freelance writer. He is also very worried about his son.

To start with, his son is under two years old, so he doesn't even understand heterosexuality yet. He knows mummy and daddy, the people who love him. He cannot tell gay people apart from straight people.

Another thing, what is with that phrase that these people keep using? They never want 'gay stuff' to be 'shoved in their faces', like we are running around and jumping in front of them and screaming at them when they are just going about their day.

I can only assume this post has come up today because today is pride. You know, that one day a year when we have a big party to celebrate the progress made, and ponder what still needs to be done. 

Several friends have put rainbows on their Facebook profile pictures, maybe his friends have done the same and this has got him riled up. Perhaps something as simple as that counts has it being 'shoved in his face'.

For many people, simply existing is 'shoving it in their faces'.

I find this post just fucking heart breaking. I mean to start with, this 'writer' has used the incorrect 'there'. That is simply unforgivable. 

This comment is exactly the kind of thing that tortures people. This is the kind of thing that keeps you closeted. This is the kind of thing that keeps you repressed. This is the kind of thing that damages your mental health. This is the kind of thing that people have killed themselves over.

I hope that Mr Wright's son grows up to be a straight man. Seriously, this guy has said that he would be disappointed if his son grows up to be gay. That is a lot of pressure to put on someone who is still a toddler. 

I had to respond to that tweet.

I don't plan on having children, but if I did, I probably wouldn't want them to be gay either, but not for the same reasons as Mr Wright.

I wouldn't want my kids to be gay partially because I don't want them to go through the same emotions that I did, and partially because people like Callum exist.

I wouldn't want my children to deal with idiots like this, who think they are being reasonable, and don't give a shit who they hurt.

Ah yes. 

'You're gay, were you molested as a child?' Of course he thinks that gayness is something that 'happens' because of 'something' that happened in childhood. 

Are they starting 'gay lessons' in school? Are schools going to start showing gay porn or something? 

What I remember learning about 'the gays' at school was that there was something wrong with it. I don't recall a single comment about homosexuality that was positive. The word 'gay' was an insult. I am nearly 30 now and I still hear hear it as an insult. I imagine school kids are much the same today. 

So Mr Wright needn't worry, chances are, with your help at home of course, your son will be molded into a mini homophobe while in the classroom and playground.

The guy seems baffled that people found his comments offensive. 

But look, he doesn't hate gay people. 

He knows his stuff, he isn't homophobic, he is clearly a fucking expert on this kind of thing.

He even provides a definition of homophobia to 'prove' he isn't homophobic. 

He doesn't want his son to be gay, but 'doesn't have an aversion to homosexuality'.

Sorry, sunshine, it doesn't work that way. You don't want your son to be gay, and by claiming that homosexuality is caused by some childhood event, just proves you know nothing about this life that you disapprove of. 

That is homophobia.

What reasons do you have then, Callum, for my desire to have sex with females?

My reason for wanting to sleep with woman is that I am attracted to them, and sex is far more enjoyable and natural for me than it ever was with men.

In fact, if people like you didn't exist, it is safe to say that I would never have slept with men because people like you that surrounded me everywhere wouldn't have made me feel like a broken human.

There is probably nothing anyone can say to change Mr Wright's mind on this, like others of a similar mindset, they believe they know best, so there is very little point arguing with them.

My concern is for his son. Mr Wright is going to raise his son to believe that there is something wrong with homosexuality, that it is not normal. If his son is heterosexual, then all that is going to do is create another man who probably shares the same views as his father.

If his son grows up, to be gay, however, then I worry for him. I can recall both of my parents, and other family members making homophobic comments, and yet it didn't stop me being gay.

Homophobia from family, in addition to what I heard at school made me hate myself, I tried to 'talk myself out of it'. As a teenager, I would have done anything to change myself. 

Not because I thought I was doing something wrong, but because I really thought that people would be disappointed in me and reject me.

So to Mr Wright's son, be yourself, let yourself have your own opinions, and good luck.